Happiness is a direction, not a place.
- Sydney J. Harris
Where do you find happiness?
For far too long I’ve looked, occasionally finding it, but often lost in the perpetual search.
Like the song, Looking for love in all the wrong places, my search for happiness had me searching for a place, a thing, a possession, an object, a job that would make me happy. Once I found these things, my happiness slowely waned.
I’ve come to realize it was the journey, not the goal, that makes one happy. The wanting of something, and the search to get it can be more fulfilling than having it.
Too many people never search for happiness. They are trapped in the cycle of simple EXISTENCE. The same cycle I have been trapped in for so long.
Far, far, to long I simply went from work to home to work to home, completely missing the point of living: to LIVE. To EXPERIENCE.
I agree with tealtan at Walking Through Glass when he says “…it’s annoying to see people whose PENTULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE is to lead “as normal a life as possible”.”
Normalcy is not living. Normal is that boring sidewalk that leads, not to where to want to go, but the path that convinces you: This is where you need to be.
To fight normality and find happiness requires you to step off that path. To politely ignore when your friends and family tell you to get back on the path like everyone else. It requires risk! For only those who take risks “… shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
- Carpe Diem - sieze the day. The only thing in life you can be absolutely certain of, is that it will end. Use this day to LIVE.
- Make a list those things you want to accomplish. Then start checking them off. Don’t be afraid to add to it or delete from it when needed, but always strive to have a list of accomplishments that you can look back on one day and say “This was my life”.
- Forget petty differences. You are who you are and so is the guy next to you. Forget the little things that set you apart from him. Hold out your hand, introduce yourself and learn his story. Build a friendship with a great many people.
- Do you have a purpose? If not, find it. (A topic for another post). Do that which you where meant to do.
- Live with the end in mind. No one wants to think about their final journey being a six foot drop in a wooden box. Instead of ignoring it, accept it. We each have only a limited number of hours. How many of them do you want to waste waiting for the end. USE THEM!
I wrote before about finding what I want and taking action to make it happen. I decided I want this to happen now, not ‘Someday.’
So we have taken action! My wife and I signed up for Conversational French classes. We’ve been to two classes so far, with the third one on Thursday. We’ll be learning French until early June. We’re also planning a return trip to France in late June.
As far as making a living online, I wish there was an easy ‘get rich quick’ way to do it, but there isn’t. Working online is actual ‘work.’ It requires just as much dedication and hard work as any job does. But developing an online income while working a full-time job, and going to school for my Master’s degree is going to be quite the chore. But if that’s what it takes, then by god that’s what I’ll do!
By the way, If you’re interested in learning about affiliate marketing, I’ve put together a free 42 lesson e-course. I’ve seen 5 day course, 10 day courses, and even a 14 day bootcamp. I think 42 days breaks the record! Before you ask, yes, there is an advertisement and an affiliate-link in each lesson, but there is also a LOT of content. There’s also some free ebook and product giveaways during the course.
I’ve also started my own online store and an article directory.
My next goal is to look at writing possibilities online. I’ve been a part-time journalist before, perhaps I can capitalize on that experience in my quest for online work.
What suggestions do you have? I want to be able to work from anywhere so I can travel.
How happy are you with your life? Unfortunately, most people will say they are very unhappy. They have regrets over what they have done in the past, or what they did not do, or even what they should have done.
The field of existentialism says your life is the way it is because of the choices you have made. The movie and book, “The Secret” says the same thing: You have made choices that led you to the life you are living.
In other words, your internal pattern of thinking, your core beliefs, caused you to create your lifestyle.
Here’s an example: Pretend its your birthday. Pretend someone has given you a very, very, VERY expensive gift. The gift costs $500,000. What is your first reaction? Are you thankful? Do you happily accept it? Are you embarrassed? Are you ashamed? Do you try to give it back to the giver? Do you think you are not worthy of it? Picture it in your mind and really try to feel how you would react.
How did you do? If you reacted any other way than being thankful and happily accepting it, then you have shown that one of your core beliefs is that you were not worthy of that expensive gift. It shows deep down you don’t think you deserve the good things life has to offer. Even though you may consciously say you want money or good things or a better life, your subconscious does it’s best to thwart those things from coming into your life.
Some would say it’s not the subconscious, but the Law of Attraction, or Infinite Intelligence, or the Law of the Universe, or even God. What you call it is unimportant. The fact remains that there is SOMETHING that causes your core beliefs to affect your reality. I prefer to think of it as the subconscious mind, rather than an invisible FORCE that just makes things happen.
Many of us need to change our core beliefs and expectations of the world around us. We need a Life Makeover. This can be done is several steps:1. Identification - Identify what you want in life. Do you want money, a better job, a mate, a life of travel and adventure? Identify what you want and write it down.
2. Visualize - Visualize yourself having or doing that thing you identified. If it’s money, then SEE yourself with money. Visualize how your life would be different if you had money. If it’s doing something like traveling the world, then visualize yourself at the world’s most remote lands. See yourself visiting the wonders of the world.
3. Affirm it - Tell yourself you have these things. Don’t tell yourself you want them, tell yourself you already have them. They are yours. Look in the mirror while you are visualizing yourself driving an expensive car, and tell yourself, “that’s my car. It’s mine. I am driving that car as soon as I go outside.” Create an affirmation tailored to your desires and visualizations.
4. Be Aware - Notice what is going on around you. Be aware of how you feel and think throughout the day to identify those little things you are doing that keeps you from getting the things you want. In the expensive gift example from earlier, if you were embarrassed, then notice your embarrassment and use your affimations to change that core beliefe.
5. Take action - This is the most important step. DO SOMETHING! Do something to make your desires come true. Otherwise it’s only wishful thinking. If what you want is a better job, then go get that better job! It won’t fall in your lap. You have to go out and get it. Visualize it. Affirm that it is yours. Take action to get it.
Conducting a life makeover is not an overnight process. It is a process you must conduct every day.
By the way, please check out the 6-Week Extreme Life Makeover for more tips on this subject.
Here’s something that rings true. It meshes so well with the theme of this site.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain-
When I read that, I thought to myself how well that statement goes with what I wrote yesterday.
Already I am disappointed with what I haven’t done. Why haven’t I traveled more? Why haven’t I seen more sights? Why haven’t I invested in business?
I’ve made my decision. Have you made yours?
1. Find out what you really want to do.
For the moment, forget about money and a job. If income was not a factor, what would you want to do? Make a list of all the things you would want to do with your time. Mark them in order of importance and desire.
2. Choose the top item. What is stopping you from doing that?
For example, if your top item is to live in Europe, why not start packing your bags and move to Europe? Granted, there are road blocks like a work permit. So get started on it. If it takes a year to get a work permit to work in Europe, then use that year to save for the trip, plan where you will live, what you will do. Maybe find a way to work online.
3. Take action. Or as Nike likes to say, Just Do It.
At this point, your plans are just wishful thinking. You must take action to make them a reality.
I need advice. I’m looking for a practical and realistic way to earn a living online.
I’ve been sorting through ideas (I had no idea googling “make money online” would bring so much crap), and I’m having trouble believing a lot of the things I read.
“Make $3,000 / month with article marketing”
“Made for adsense” sites
etc
etc
etc.
Can anyone guide me to some real advice (don’t give me your affiliate link to your “great program”).
Thanks
All of us are on a “Journey” through life. Some of us take the time to smell the roses. Others are so busy they don’t even notice the roses.
Which one are you?
For a long time, I never saw the roses, the garden, the trees… I was stuck in a rut. Now, I am trying to live consciously.
Whether you know it or not, we are all traveling to the same destination: a six-foot drop in a wooden box. I am in no hurry to race to THAT finish line.
Life is about enjoying the Journey. It’s not a race to the finish line.
Leo at Zen Habits has done something amazing. He released everything on his blog to the public domain.
I’m sitting here in shock of what he’s done. He just gave away all his content to anyone who wants it!
That post is getting tons of comments from people pointing out just what he has done, but Leo is doing it anyway. He said “If my little experiment fails, at least it will be instructive to others. Without failures there can be no successes.”
Leo, my hat is off to you. I am eagerly waiting to see how this affects the success of your already-successful blog.
I’m not so sure. It sounds like it was started for a good reason, but it’s failed to curb comment spam.
Randa Clay over at Randa Clay Design has an interesting post on the Dofollow plugin for Wordpress.
Does anybody know if installing this plugin hurt or benefits a blog?
“Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.” - William Wallace (Mel Gibson) from the movie, Braveheart
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I read Wallace’s words recently and thought what a true statement that is. Not only did I read them, but they stung because I knew I was one of those men.
And I hated it.
I planned to do just what every self-improvement book/blog says to do: Plan your future, TAKE ACTION, then review and change as needed. I put that on my list of “important things to do.”
It’s been weeks since I planed that. It somehow turned into my “someday” list.
Again, I was stung, like a slap on the face, when I read Starting a New Year with Death over at Pick the Brain.
I had fallen right into the Myth of Someday. I’ll do that ‘Someday.’ I really want to go there ‘Someday.’ ‘Someday’ I tell them how I really feel about them.
But sometimes ‘Someday’ never comes. In the last two years I lost my father and a grandmother (in law). The insurance commercial says, “Life comes at you fast.” So does death.
I’m not going to be one of those people that looks back and sees a mountain of regrets and unfulfilled desires. So after weeks of delay, I have my plan.
Step one: Decide what I want.
That is both the easiest and the hardest step. It’s easy when you finally decide to sit down and evaluate what you want. It’s hard to push everything else out of your mind so it doesn’t get in the way of what you want.
For example, it’s easy for a mountain of bills to affect your decision of what you want. You just want a way to earn more money to pay the bills.
So here’s what I have come up with: I want to go where I want, when I want, and for as long as I want. When I come home, I want a secure home to return to.
Step two: Find out how to become a location independent professional.
I will do research to find jobs I can do from anywhere. By April 1, 2008 I will have decided what method or methods I will use and will have begun putting them into action. Whether it’s working online, freelance writing, whatever. By January 1, 2009, A majority of my income will be online.
Step three: Decide where to travel or live.
I already know my wife wants to live in France. And why not? We spent 10 days there on vacation in 2007. It was a great time. Once we are established there, the rest of Europe will be close at hand.
Step four: Take Action
This is the most important step. Plans without actions are just daydreams. I will begin this plan immediately. I don’t have forever.
From the book, Wanderer, By Sterling Hayden.
“What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade
The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.
Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?”
This post begins the series: Journey to Independence. I will add to this series over the coming months to track my progress in becoming location independent.
Leave your comments. What does it means to you to truly live? What advice would you give others on this subject?
